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El efecto cocktail party

 

[Seamos la conversación interesante entre tanto ruido]

 

Imagina que estás en una sala llena de gente. Hay ruido, grupos de personas teniendo distintas conversaciones y, de repente, escuchas tu nombre. En ese momento, tu atención se va a la otra conversación. Dejas de escuchar lo que dicen a tu alrededor, buceas a través del barullo y tu cerebro se centra en lo que están diciendo de ti.

¿Te ha pasado esto alguna vez? A mí también. Es el efecto cocktail party.

Demostrado: a las personas nos interesa escuchar lo que dicen de nosotros, hasta el punto de no poder evitar prestar atención a aquello que nos afecta directamente. El «poner la antena» de toda la vida. Hasta aquí todo en orden, si no fuera por la otra cara de la moneda. Cuando se trata de hablar, lo que nos gusta es también hablar de nosotros, no de quien nos escucha. ¡Bum!, la ruptura.

Cuando hablas de tu libro (ya sea en una reunión de trabajo, dando una charla o simplemente respondiendo a una pregunta, yo que sé, sobre un proyecto en el que estamos trabajando), lo que en realidad estás haciendo es blablablá, abrazar tu ego y aburrir, pero ni rastro de comunicación eficaz (es decir, que te escuchen, te entiendan y te recuerden). Y es que nunca nos enseñaron técnicas de comunicación, es cierto, pero también hay otro motivo. Reconozcámoslo, somos egoístas.

Mirad la respuesta que dio Clare Lynch, experta en escritura empresarial, en una conferencia sobre cómo captar la atención de quien te escucha. Ella defendía la importancia de hablar siempre de manera sencilla, porque es un estilo de oratoria que, lejos de hacer bajar la calidad de la reflexión, nos permite conectar, algo que no sucede cuando somos rimbombantes. Una persona le preguntó que si a él le invitaban a hablar sobre un tema del que sabía mucho y quería dejar claro a su audiencia que así era, ¿usando un lenguaje sencillo, lejos de impresionar a todos con sus conocimientos, no iba a parecer simplista e ignorante? «Si tu objetivo es seducir a tu audiencia, la mejor estrategia no es hacerles ver lo inteligente que eres tú, sino hacerles sentir lo inteligentes que son ellos».

Respuestaza. Su argumento siguió así: «Si explicas algo complejo de manera sencilla, la persona conseguirá entenderlo y se sentirá lista, por lo tanto motivada, por lo tanto cómoda contigo, por lo tanto estará mucho más receptiva a todo lo que le digas». Hola, persuasión.

Así que, ya sea por empatía sincera hacia quien nos escucha o por mero interés de seducir, empecemos a pensar más en las personas que tenemos enfrente. Ganaríamos todos. Seamos la conversación interesante entre tanto ruido.

 

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